can you give mom, me & kiddo a ride over to mom's place and back?

Do you want to spend time with us?

It's easy.  Offer the three of us a free ride over to mom's place and back. On a daily basis.

So freaking easy to never be lonely again.

Dam.

Did you know that was how my ex got me so dependent on him in college bc he was willing to chauffeur me around bavk then bc I didn't have my own vehicle.

The problem isnthe solution.

The problem is i cannot get a car or a driver's license 

An etrike will bypass the driver's license but I do not have $5000 to get that.

to the person who speaks more then one language

kee: I am appreciating the radiance of your being. Thank you and blessings.

person H:

Much gratitude for that message. I like the vivid description of the thoughts that you've penned in your profile.

English ain't my first language - please excuse the occasional errors.

Peace and prosperity,

H

Kee:

Hello H,

I am impressed that you took the time to read my profile as it was very long. Thank you.

I appreciate your concerns about the language difference. I am impressed that you know more then one language at all. And that you are willing to take the time to learn a language that was not your original. Allowing oneself to be flexible enough to do that is an incredible feat and I admire your efforts.

I tried to speak to someone in Spanish once using Google translate and I kept getting so fed up with how I was not able to get the nuances I was trying to convey accurately enough.

Even native English speakers have difficultly understanding me sometimes because

1)I tend to write strangely sometimes

or 2)about concepts that people find odd sometimes.

Or 3) I just write way too much..

Question:

upon reading our goals to find a buyer for our home to buy my ex out an co-own our home - did you have any interest in that idea?

Or would you just like to be pen pals with kiddo and I? If this option, are you on Telegram by any chance?

Or are you just appreciating a brief moment of connection?

www.krineteagle.com/our-youtube-channels

www.krineteagle.com/our-facebook-links

We do so hope you will stay connected to us in some form or another.

Much blessing and appreciation,

-krin and eagle with grandma

need hope please

Stuck in my own head.

Live in the present?

Even if the present sucks full of feeling immobile and helpless and scared of the future so much that it feels like I am sitting here waiting for the death of all our dreams.

I need hope 

I need an angel investor bc I tried to do it on our own and the obstacles are just too great for my mind to handle

The sound of the neighbors construction are like knife blades on my senses leaving me in so much pain that I can't even get up put of bed to get away from the pain.

But we don't have a car and I can't drive anyways even if we did.

I tried to convince some wealthy people to get us an etrike so we could at least be mobile.  

But who wants to spend $6000 on a family of three.  No-one.

Not unless I would be willing to have sex with them.  Which I am not.

I have nothing left to give anyone other then love to my mom and my son

And no-one who can afford to give us money wants to give us enough to be mobile enough to go accomplish anything we might actually be able to accomplish

Do you have $6000?

Would you give that to a family to get an eteike so they could be mobile without having to get a driver's license?

How about if they did have a driver's license.

Pain.

misc message back to someone at some point

Found this in my draft folder.not sure if I ever sent it to them or not .

Doesn't matter now.

But if it will entertain someone else,here it is::

Dear person,

May I ask- is this what you had written in the last message that I did not get to see? If you still have it in your own feed, I would very much like to see a copy of what your original response was at that time so I could have more insight into answering these questions. And just so I can know bc I get so frustrated not knowing what someone originally thought or said (small pet peeve of mine).

Question one: what specific help can you offer?  - do you mean other then saving the home and getting it out into a trust that ensures we would be the ones to buy it back? Isn't that more then enough?

Question two: how would I be towards you? Well wow, a lot of that depends on so many infinite 

 amount of factors ...  I have the belief that isnide each of us exists many types of personalities.. from the silly flirtatious parts of ourselves, to the adventurous parts of ourselves, to the parts within us that need to feel safe and reassured...and for each and every person what each of those parts comes together is uniquely different.     But I also believe that each of us tends to bring out different aspects of one another.

In an ideal world, we would leave each other feeling safe enough to help bring out the parts of each other that likes to dance and laugh and grin...

But since we would be tied to you financially for a little while, I am also aware that the reality is that that is enough time to bring out MANY different parts of us. 

I am under the assumption that your desire is to be an open relationship?   And that you desire our main ties to you to be only a financial one and a physical one to me... but it is unclear is if you want an emotional tie, and if so, how deep of one? 

 your profile does say you are seeking an emotional connection as well but your profile description implies that it also want emotional connections not attached necessarily to only one person?

So that brings us to  the part where you are interested me sexually..  lol..

Laughter..  oh boy, and isn't that a can of something..   so yes that one will be a challenge.  And here is where there might be some problems bc getting me there is a challenge.  Once there, I do not know much about me anymore. It would be interesting to see..I can tell you how I once was before when I was brazen and lots of hutspah..  but now? 

  it is basically like starting over with a virgin, which obviously I am not since I have a son..  but they do say one is a completely new person after seven years.. and it has been about that long since thr last time I felt open enough to be there. I am not worried about emotionally being affected since I know I am safe there as long as I have my home..    But mentally, do you have in your what it takes to entice me to want to be there again with you?

What you do have going for you, is that physically I am not opposed to your body.  I prefer lean, fit. And god, you have the eyes.. 

But instant gratification of release for you?  

Seriously is that what you really would want? Yes I know you can have any hodunkwho, but do you really want something that will just give it to your because of purely financial reasons?

Would you be up for the mental chase?  

I mean, if you saved the home, well okay you would have gotten rid of my biggest barrier to that world.  And in theory between my physical attraction to you and my gratitude to you, in theory that should be enough to make it so even out of just pure gratitude I would be open to you.    But would you really want me to just go through thr mechanicsl motions out of obligation bc i have sold myself to you?  Yeah. If I were in your shoes, that would just sound.... shudder...

Or would you want the part of me that actually wants to seduce you out of more then just gratitude? Wouldn't you prefer the part of me that wanted you bc I actually felt safe around you to be myself.. my fulllllllllll self!    

If so, then,

 you would also need to be able to enjoy the amusement of letting me feel mentally safe. And that process... If you are going to want ALL of me to want to be involved with you that way, it will take more then just your saving the home.. but a confidence to be patient enough to not push and invite and just have the door open ...getting the little girl part of me to sneak out of  the hiding hole... To seduce with patience with confidence...it is not easy. And for you, you would have to challenge yourself.  Bc you do like fast and not having something fast fast fast so you can quickl move on to the next thing to reach your adrenaline fix ..   yes, that would be painful for you?

 Oh you could know you would get the prize in the end, but I guarantee you would be far much happier  long term letting me get there at my own pace then asking me to rush the process simple out of gratitude.  

But Would you be the kind of person who would allow yourself to get any satisfaction of enjoying the process of watching and waiting me to get there with confidence?

 Not sure what your experience is with long relationships

  

open letter to those who want to be romantically involved with me

Open letter to all those who want to be romantically involved with me

Would your being romantically involved with me help me with my dreams? What I value and care about deeply? What I live for? What I breath for?

Would your being romantically in bed with me help me to achieve what I want to achieve in this world??

What about the basics below:

Would it provide for my family?

Would it pay for all the medical bills?

Would it keep my family fed? Sheltered? 

Would it provide for this stuff even if you passed away or lost interest? Keeping us safe even after you were gone?  

But going back to what mattered to me..

Would it provide my family the resources it needed to go after our own dreams of what mattered to us?

Or only what mattered to you?

Do you honestly believe that just being with you should be enough to keep me happy and content and that that should be the only thing that mattered to me?

I understand you feeling that way.

I did actually once almost feel that way about my ex.

I often do feel that way about my family.

But people die. Or leave.

If we only lived for another human then when that human was gone what would be left of us 

So we each have to live for something greater then any of us...a dream, a goal, bigger then ourselves.

Some people live for a god. Or an ideal.

Or for a vision.  

I have a vision that involves the home I love.

Can YOU make that happen?

If you really loved me and cared about me, shouldn't you be caring more about helping me make that happen then whether I am with you or not?

a response to a persons profile

Not sure if the person ever ready response but I thought I would put it here bc maybe someone else will read it and be interested...

Dear person who's profile I had read:

Hmmm, so i read your bio...

Do you believe it is possible for a person to be both needing a handout AND be goal-oriented at same time?

Return on investments?

 Well then the question becomes what do you consider "a return" for your investment. You quite clearly stated you do not feel a person giving you their time or focused energy is a return on your investment because you will be giving the same back.

You claim you are not interested in those who trade money for sex, though yet you do find intimacy an important part of your return.... Which if you are making sexual intimacy a requirement, isn't that nearly the same thing?

You want great conversational skills and company that enlivens you on fun adventures.

You cringe when you encounter people who seem entitled which you define as people who think they should get paid just for existing.

You want kindness, sweetness, but someone who can also hold their own.  

Because You dont want to hear about their problems or how you can help. 

You want already fully independent people whom you can be intimate with on the side.

..

Too bad i am not able to do the intimacy part anymore.... 

I do have a goal so I guess I am goal oriented... 

( i think kiddo and i used to be fun company to be around on a "see the world adventure" (at least when the cameras are working so my brain doesnt panick) though it has been awhile since we have done a big one.. 

But, i did have a thought about the return in investmemt part... Just voicing my thoughts more to myself i guess but also seeing if there is any interest.. 

If we can get someone to buy my ex out of the remaining mortgage (~200K) and his half portion ((~ 1/2 ( 600K - 200K?)

and help us convert the garage into a studio [[by making it possible for us to build or put a storsge structure on a tiny lot over in fifth ward that we couod empty the garage temporarily into and redoing the eckectrical, etc]] -- that could then be rented out then our home could be used to make some money fpr taxes alllll WHILE we are still living in the home..

and then once that part is safely taken care of, kiddo and i coukd then figure out how to turn all of our other way of being and ideas of how to turn them into a source of income could pan out

-- like the ideas of converting all of ocd like need for recording of everything in our life into a viable money making avenue ) as we video all the transitions and changes and controversial conversations that kiddo and i love to have )

--and figure out how or get some help to sell all the plants we grow anyways for ourseleves but have an extra abundance of into a profitable way

-- and figure out how or get some help to get the rocket stove/pizza oven made and mayhe even a commercial kitchen space on site, somehow figuring out how to discreetly sell pizza or other goodies out of oru driveway that didnt upset the hoa, amd or host some private udnerground small prviate undergroundn restaurant (whixh i am actually not sure if i can do with my need for recording everything, but if it coukd be done) 

And maybe gwt some of the garden set up in such a nice way that yoga instructors and other bodyworkers woukd be interested in renting out the space to teach their private classes

Or maybe artists/authors would enjoy spending time there (though hard to imagine them paying to rent the garden, but mayhe they can help advertise it?)

We have so many ideas.. Www.envisioiningourgoals.blogspot.com

BUT... Saying we could figure out how to do all these ideas and or get help with making how we are into a way of being that brings in income just by turning everything that we do into a wayof bringing in income

THENNNN, i imagine you could make a great return on your investment?  

That is what i would like to believe and would like to make happen for SOME investo so we can figure out how to save our 1/4 acre home/land.

Anyways..just throwing these thoughts i constantly have out your direction since my eye caught the words that you want to be able to have a "return on your investment"

Sadly you are right though about a person needing their own tranaportation. Which until we get that etrike that doesnt require a drivers license so i can take mom with us everywhere with us, yep, i dont quite fit the bill.

Ah well.. Still worth a try to put my ideas out there...

WHY we NEEDed BERNIE TO WIN!!

Lol, it is so funny to reread old posts and look back at old past beliefs.. 

I guess I had been hopeful.  Obviously he didn't in. Didn't have a chance at all bc of th way the voting system is set up 

A few old friends of mine have suggested other ways that the voting system could have been done which might have allowed him to winz but whatever.

Our own world has bigger problems now then who is president or who runs the country... 

And obviously my opinion doesn't actually matter about who should be in charge. MY own voice is too tiny right now.

I cant even figure out how to savey own home or bring in enough money for my own dreams right now or to get new transportation.  

So.. I don't have the enough energy to care about things where my own opinion doesn't count anyways.  

They say.. why worry about things that you can't control anyways.  Waste of time and energy to worry about it.

So I won't.  I put my two cents in back then. I doubt anyone heard or cared even if they did.

I became one of the disenfranchised or whatever the word is that I talked about in the post below.   Just not believing enough in the system to bring to care enough to even find out who is doing the fight anymore for something I dont have any say in anyways.

Maybe I can make a difference in other ways if the world will let me.

 More important to me now is saving our home base.  

If we can do that, then we will try to use our home to help teach and inspire the ideas I do believe in.

 

Tuesday, February 25, 2020 4;45am

Here is the thing folks and something to keep in mind. In some post, I heard anti bernie folks say that yes if we won they would stil vote for him even though he wasnt their top choice. 

 So IF Bernie were to have won then you not only have his die hard fans but also ALL the rest of the democratic party supporting him just bc he isnt Trump. 

  But here is what you reallllllllly need to keep in mind.  I REALLY think one of the biggest reasons why Trump won is bc enough of Bernie Die Hard fans last time were NOT willing to vote for someone they just didnt believe in (the other candidate) and would rather watch the system get messed up by Trump then vote for someonr they just didjt beleive in.  Ie why nearly 50 % of the nation just didnt vote at all.

 i know sooooooo many People who dont believe in the system and who simply will not vote [will not vote] UNLESS Bernie wins. 

 BUT they will get up to vote ONLY if Bernie wins.  So, if Bernie wins, you GAIN all the people who just stoped caring bc they think there is no more hope bc the system is tpp corrupt to care about them. 

If Bernie DOES win, then not only do you get the normal democratic votes, then you ALSO get the votes of the folks whom Bernie actually gives hope to for the first time.

 BeRnie would actually get double make that TRIPLE the votes of a "normal" democratic nominee.  Without Bernie, you only get pure democratic and a few people who are scared of Trump. Like what happened with Hilary.

 
  But WITH BERNIE, you get all those who had voted for Hilary or any whoever democrstic just to vote dem PLUS folks who are scared of Trump PLUS ALLLLLL the Bernie Die Hard Fans PLUS a LOT a LOT of previous nonvoters.   

Only Bernie has a chance of bringing in those who are disfranchised. Only Bernie will be able to bring in enough of  those voters who are so pissed off by the corruption that they refused to vote before. it was the loss ofTHOSE voters that allowed Trump in.   

 
Its the typical NON voter that the nation needs to be concerned about.  And from what i saw in the last election.  Minus a few folks who are scared of Trump, you can be guaranteed that UNLESS Bernie wins, there is a very high likelyhood that the same thing will happen again, Trumps followers will find a way unless Bernie gets in to get the voters who otherwise would never get off their chairs to vote

i really firmly believe knowing what i know about WHY folks did not vote for Hilary last time, that the only way to make a landslide surity for Trump to Lose is to make sure Bernie Wins.

 
Bc BERNIE would have TRIPLE the support of any normal democratic person. 
Regular dems + trump haters + people whom he gives hope to + the thosands of die hard fans who simply willl NOT vote for any other candidate other then him bc they will be too pissed off by the system if he doesnt win this time. 

Soooo many people bothe independants and nonvoters i know will just do like they did last time who simply refuse to vote democratic or vote at all unless  BERNIE WINS.

  Those are the votes you will need if you really want to assure Trump gets out. And that idea was proven in that 2016 election.  

This time you might have a few who will vote dem bc they fear Trump.  But you need Bernie To prevent what happened in 2016 to happen again!

i really firmly believe the only way that is possible is to ensure Bernie actually wins this time.  You are going to need the support from the nonvoters that Only Bernie was able to bring out last time at the primaries.  Do remember how many extra voters Bernie brought out to the primaries last time.  Amd i have heard that he also made a world record of having the first three states win by a landlside in popular vote this time too!

.  I know wayyyyyyy toooo many nonvoters who WILL vote, but ONLY if someine like Bernie wins.  And Those are the Votes the democrats need if they want to ensure Trump Loses.

 
You need those folks who wouldnt usually vote but who will GET UP AND VOTE for BERNIE ONLY.

  You need those folks who were too pissed off to vote in 2016.  And those people will be even more pissed off this time if Bernie doesnt win again. They threw a tantrum in 2016 and refuwed to vote for Hilary bc we didnt listen to them then.

We cant risk 'not listening' to them again. Our environment cant risk it.

We need to listen to the hearts of those who let trump in bc they didnt get heard in 2016. Let them have their candidate of choice of the only person they will actually get up off their chairs to vote for. Bernie is the Only Chance you folks of gwtting THOSE votes. Amd those are the votes YOU NEED to win againat Trump. You need the people who will ONLY Vote for Bernie.